Identity is our conception, our idea if you will, of who we are. Who we think we are, who others think we are and who we actually are, are usually different things. Part of the growing process is helping the three to become closer and closer as time goes by and we work our way through problems.

In coaching I find that we often spend time discussion identity. One client noted that she had been a stay at home mom with her kids and had loved it, but now that she was a working professional she felt a little lost. Not because she was not good at her job, she was, but because what she was doing is not who she felt she was called to be. These identity issues are part of making healthy transitions from one part or place in life to another. My specialty is helping you to make the transtions,

That’s why one of my key concepts in coaching is transitions. We all have to make changes, but sometimes those changes cause us to stumble and lurch instead of the transition happening smoothly.

I do want to make clear that I am not talking about self-esteem. There is much talk of self-esteem in our world today. Self-esteem, unless it is based on accomplishment is vanity. Self-esteem says, “I choose to feel good about myself, whether there is any reason for it or not.” One study makes clear that the only group that scores consistently high scores on self-esteem tests are hard core criminals. Not doctors, not dentists, not lawyers, not college professors, not paramedics, only hard core criminals. I suggest that if this is the case then we are measuring the wrong thing.